BBC News Podcast
- "ARMINIC.com" از anything goes with emma chamberlain توسط ARMINIC.com. منتشرشده: 2024. ترک 108. سبک: Podcast.
1X
Today, I have a real, real treat for you. My mother. My mommy. Yeah, she’s my mommy. She’s not really my mother. She’s my mommy. You know what I mean? My mom and I have a very special relationship in my older age. I’d argue we have a really special friendship. She’s definitely one of the girls. Do with that what will. She’s one of the girls. And today, we’re just going to hang out. It’s a mother daughter date, and you get to listen in on it. And we both love to overshare, so it’s going to be totally fun. So here is my mommy, Sophia Chamberlain, the one and the only. This episode of anything goes is presented by the Sims. Ready to spark something? Download the sims four and play for free. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. With Squarespace, you can do much more than build a website. You can set up your own online store. It doesn’t matter what you sell. Physical goods, digital products, services. Squarespace has everything you need to start selling online. You can even sell custom merch. Just design it. Production, inventory, and shipping are all handled for you. And with Squarespace’s asset library, you can upload, organize, and access your content all in one place. To get started, head to squarespace.com Emma for a free trial. And when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code Emma, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode is brought to you by Netflix’s new competition series, the trust. It’s the ultimate test of human nature, when eleven strangers are offered a quarter million dollars and a choice to share the money equally or vote each other out to take more for themselves. What would you choose? Find out if greed is greater than good. The trust, a game of greed, is now streaming only on Netflix. In what ways do you think I’m my mother’s daughter? Oh, my. Like, there’s just a list that goes on, like, you’re a workaholic. But I feel like I don’t give off that vibe. I feel like I give off, like, slacker energy. Oh, God, I don’t think so. Recently, you’ve been getting out more, which I think is great. But before that, though, it was all about just like, oh, I have to do this. This. You’re definitely like that too, though. I mean, that’s what I’m saying. You wouldn’t just let loose and go have fun. I was too scared. I think I was scared that I would lose it if I was too much like that. When you were younger, did you do that too? Were you like, a workaholic with school or with work? Or were you like, no, I’m going to go out and be with cute boys. I think any opportunity that I had, like, if friends were going out, it was like, where are we going on Thursday night? Like, we had the dance clubs to go to and we had our routine and stuff. So any chance I got, I would definitely go out, whether it was a party or clubbing or whatever. But that’s interesting because you became a workaholic later in your life. Now, that is like you to A-T-I thrive on accomplishing stuff. I thrive on getting shit done. So it’s not that it makes you like, it’s not that you love it, but rather that it feeds you. It depends also what kind of work for work, work. It’s an integrity thing. You know what I mean? I feel like I have to accomplish a lot and get it off my plate and do it to perfection so that my integrity stays intact. Wow. I am your mother’s daughter in this way. Right? But it’s, like, so not, like, toxic. But we’re definitely both such perfectionists about. I wouldn’t say just our work life, but I think it’s very, very apparent and present there. But just in general, I feel like we’re both. So things have to be done right. Right? Like, things have to really be done right. Like, no cutting corners. Right. It has to be done right. Because otherwise you sit and think about it. You think like, oh, we could have done this better. Or you see it physically, see something that’s not done, and then it’s little. The details. Right? Like, you’re not as detailed as I am. You’re more accepting of things not being perfect because you growing up with me, like, wanting things to be so rigidly tidy and straight and this and that, you kind of want to mess things up. You want to kind of have things a little beat up or a little crooked or a little wonky, whereas I’m constantly. And it’s a control thing. And that’s another thing that we have, control issues. Well, we definitely do another way on my mother’s daughter. Right. Growing up with my mom was like growing up in an army base. Every single household chore was boot camp. Doing the dishes, boot camp, literally. My mom would inspect the fork after I washed it, and she’d be like, you didn’t use fucking hot water? No. You didn’t use hot water. Wow. Did you even use dish soap? Yeah. Do you know that you have to refill the sponge with the soap. Okay. Obviously, you don’t. Yeah. When you look at me, what do you think I get the most fixated on? I think it’s, like, controlling what’s going to happen. I love to have a plan. Yeah. It’s terrible. I’m so bad. It’s from kind of random daily tasks. Everything has to be timed out on my Google calendar to, like, I need to know who’s going to be my maid of honor in my wedding. I need to know who I’m going to marry. I need to know how many kids I’m going to have. I am obsessed with that, too. I need to know where I’m going to live. I’m obsessed with planning the future as well. I think that’s an age thing, too, though. Were you like that? I mean, I feel like it’s kind of a goal, like a life goal or something. And we’re very impatient. That’s the other thing. So we want to get to it as soon as possible because you have it all planned out. You know what has to happen, so you’re in a big hurry to get there. And I was very much like that. But on a daily basis, I may not be anxious about my future like you are, because I feel like I’ve kind of arrived. You have your career. You have a child who’s a nightmare. And that’s so much, so distracting. And then you have filled with a lot to do on a daily basis. In what ways are we different? Well, like I said, I think you rebelled against my precision on things. And so you kind of like, when things are a little more knocked around, beat up, wonky, crooked, a little messy, you kind of rebel against that. It’s not like your house is dirty or unorganized. It’s more like you might be attracted to a little vintage piece of artwork or something, and it’ll be maybe chipped up and knocked around, and I’d be like, oh, no. But it’s got chips and not dents in it. You’re like, but that’s what I like about it. And I like things to be, like more. I like vintage things or antiques, but I like. You want to be refurbished? I like them to be more, like, in better shape. And you are totally good with something just, like, falling apart. I know. Because it looks cool. Okay, so that’s one way we’re different. Do you think we’re different socially? Oh, yeah. Why? Because I’m not social. I was when I was your age, but you’re definitely outgoing. But I get bored at social events where it’s maybe like I have trouble hearing people talk if there’s a lot of people talking. So it’s hard to have a conversation. So I feel kind of like I start to close up because I can’t understand what anyone’s saying and then I’m like just shaking my head and I’m just like. And so I feel that’s awkward to me. But that’s also such an interesting perspective because it’s so true that in most social situations a party, a club, a bar, it’s fucking loud. It’s just loud and it’s not fun to talk talk to talk. It actually is awful when I go out and as we know I’ve been doing it a lot because I call my mom when I’m on the way home and it’s like two in the morning, three in the morning, four in the morning. It’s been six in the morning and I’m at Driving home because I’m getting the tea really well. Yeah, you get the tea. How good is the tea? It’s awesome. It’s so fun. This is totally a detour. Now we’re going in a completely different direction, but share the best tea I’ve ever given you. Well, what was a story that I got in the car and I called you and I told you about where you’re like, this is the juiciest shit yet. It’s usually like when you’ve seen somebody that you haven’t seen in a long time or you met somebody for the first time and you just really hit it off and it would be like an unexpected person. Boy drama. Yeah. Boy drama is always the best, right? That’s like, oh, man, who would have thought that would have happened? Or that they would have said that? It usually has to do with boys. It’s usually like where you’ve been out and about and you’ve seen someone and then you. Yeah, that was kind of the. What you’re alluding to, you know what I mean? In LA, I think it’s like you’re always going to see people out that you have a history with, whether it’s an old friend or an ex or whoever. And it’s like, I think those are the best stories for you, probably because you know these people, you’ve met these people and then now it’s, like, interesting to see what. But that is the problem. Sometimes I’ll have been a fan of, maybe it’s a music artist or an actress or a model or something like that, and you’ve become friends with them and then you come home and then you tell me stories about, like an evening out where you’ve run into them and then the conversations you’ve had or whatever. And I’m like, so riveted at the end of my. Because it’s so fun. It’s like someone that you maybe watched them on tv when you were little. And so I’ve watched these people grow up to be successful, whatever artists, musicians, whatever they are. So it’s just kind of fun to hear the local stuff that happens when you’re out and you run into these people, what they’re really like, what they’re really like or like, whatever. It’s just so fun. I honestly feel like I go out and be social for the debrief after with you and my friends. That’s what it’s about. I kind of, like, wake up automatically at like, 02:00 a.m. And she’s like, why is she. Oh, she’s still out. Okay, well, maybe she’ll. And then if I think you’re in an OD place, sometimes the location will seem a little OD, and I’ll check in and just say, you good, just to make sure you’re good, but also to let you know that I’m awake so that as soon as you get in the car, you can call me. Yes. Speaking of you tracking me on my phone, you’re an anxious parent. Yes. Why don’t you sort of dig into how you manage being a deeply anxious person and having a child? Well, I mean, I didn’t even want to have a child because I knew that I would be such an anxious parent. So it was almost like, oh, my gosh, I am not the kind of person that should be having kids because I’m going to be worried about the baby inside my tummy, worried about the baby coming out. Okay. I’m going to be worried about everything. Right. And then the experience I went through, which was, for the most part, other than being, like, nauseous for the first six months or whatever, everything was fine, except for you coming out with an emergency c section that was like, you had to come out that way. That’s okay. I know. It’s so reflective of my personality. Oh, my gosh. Afterwards, we go to nurse, and you’d constantly fall asleep. And then the nurses would come in and they would be like, jamming your face to nurse, and then you’d be arching your back like, no. And then I was like, oh, man, we are in for it. This girl is going to be a force to be reckoned with. And here you are. Thank you so much. So the worry just went on and on and on. You were anxious, and you definitely needed to know where I was at all times. And you definitely were like, you had a leash on. A metaphorical leash on. Because some parents actually do the little leash on the kids. You had a metaphorical leash on me. It wasn’t like I was a complete loose cannon, but you did kind of let me be a loose cannon. I mean, when I look back, it’s like, holy shit. After school, I’d go to the youth center. These kids and I would just be running around town doing whatever, and we were, like, on our own. And when I got a little older and I started partying and I was experimenting with drinking and stuff like that, you and my dad both were like, it’s okay. Just keep us in the loop. And I think that that’s exactly the way to do it because I think it prevented me from ever rebelling in that way and wanting to overdo it, which I think was phenomenal. But it’s like, how did you let me go then? You kind of let me go, even though you’re so anxious. First of all, I trusted you. I didn’t feel like you were going to make a bad decision. Everybody makes bad choices, right? That’s how we learn. But I didn’t have the capability of tracking you until you were a little bit older, until you had your first iPhone. Basically because I feel like the other ones, we didn’t do that because my intentions or my thoughts about tracking you or keeping an eye on you, it wasn’t about what you were doing or who you were hanging out with. It was just more about being able to rescue you if you were in a bad situation. It’s about knowing where you were so that if there was an earthquake, then I could just come pick you up. So that’s what you were more anxious about, rather than what I was actually doing? No, I was never worried about what you were doing. It was never about controlling what you were doing, who you were hanging out with. It was about keeping you. Just knowing that I could come and save you somehow. Because you didn’t like it at first. No. I mean, I think it’s invasive. But then once I said, hey, but if you’re in a situation and you can’t call me or something, then I can literally drive to wherever you are, and I can pick you and your friends up and get you guys out of a bad situation or maybe a situation you don’t want to be in, which happened. It happened where you guys would be in a house party, and the cops would come, and you guys would be hiding in the bushes. So scary. And you’re, like, texting me and you don’t even know where you are. There was no address because. And you don’t even know what street. And I would just jump in the car and I would find you that way. I know. It was like, literally the amount of times the cops got called on us. I wonder if that’s normal. Did you have the cops called on parties when you were a kid? Oh, yeah. Okay. But we’d all get word, and then everybody would split and hide until they drove away. And then, you know, I remember the uber account. It’s like my Uber account. And you guys would go, and then you guys would know the uber or whatever. My rating went to shit. When you guys would go to. What was it? Shoreline. Shoreline. For context, was this like, it was this music venue, not super close to where I lived, but, like, 40 minutes to an hour. And it was where there was $50 country concerts, country shows, and all the high schoolers would go and get super drunk and just make out with each other. And it was really weird. In retrospect, I think it was so good for you to have that independence, because I feel like completely, even though you might have been drinking and making out with boys and doing all these things, that if the parents really knew, they would be like, oh, that’s not allowed. Well, that’s the thing. I do think you can’t rob your child of experimentation, but there’s a responsible way to do it. And I think you. I mean, if you were messing around with scary drugs and stuff or hooking up with 40 year old men, I’d be like, absolutely not. Yeah. You know what I mean? But you guys were all with each other. You guys had been around each other since you were, like, in fourth grade or fifth grade or even younger. Some of you even knew each other as toddlers. So it was like, I didn’t feel like you were doing anything abnormal at all. But to an extent, you have to let your kids touch the stove to know that it’s hot, right? While keeping the leash on those still, too. You were in control of the situation enough where it’s like, I. And you also educated me enough to a point where you were like, she’s not going to get hurt Like, we’re not. She’s not taking anything to a level where she’s fine. I didn’t feel like any of it was dangerous, and if I did, I probably would have said no. But I felt like you were smart. You were also nervous and worried, so you weren’t going to be like, I wasn’t totally cool and badass. I was like, so you’ve never been reckless, and that’s the thing. That’s a difference. I’ve never snuck out. I feel like I’m. You never needed to. I know this episode is brought to you by ritual. Sometimes we think that we’re getting a gut instinct, but we’re actually not. We’re listening to our heart instead of our gut. You know, like when we want to text our ex or buy something that’s really overpriced. Listen, I can’t help you with your instincts, but I do know what can support your gut, and that’s symbiotic plus from ritual. It’s a three in one supplement with clinically studied prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics. I personally have tummy issues, and that’s why I really appreciate symbiotic plus. I really recommend ritual because they’re rigorously tested by a third party and their products are genuinely just top notch. There’s no more shame in your gut game. Symbiotic plus and ritual are here to celebrate, not hide your insides. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time@ritual.com. Anything? This offer is only available through January 31, so start ritual or add symbiotic plus to your subscription today. That’s ritual.com anything. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. With Squarespace, you can do much more than build a website. You can set up your own online store. It doesn’t matter what you sell. Physical goods, digital products, services. Squarespace has everything you need to start selling online. You can even sell custom merch. Just design it. Production, inventory, and shipping are all handled for you, and with Squarespace’s asset library, you can upload, organize, and access your content all in one place. To get started, head to squarespace.com slash Emma for a free trial. And when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code Emma to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Do you think my personality was set when I was born, or do you think that you and my dad influenced. Yeah, this is actually, let’s take me out of the equation. Do you believe that personality is innate, or do you think personality is developed through parenting or do you think it’s a combination of both? I think it’s a combination of both. But you came out a rebel 100%. And I saw that from the get go, from the very. I didn’t understand it the way I do now. I think different people wrote books on personality types and there was like personality quizzes and stuff. And so one of the ones I really liked narrows in on four different personality types or tendencies that we have. I remember it because it was right around the time you started high school, and that’s when I figured out your personality type. My personality type? It’s very simple. What’s your personality type and what’s mine? So the four tendencies they call them is the upholder, the questioner, the rebel, and the obliger. And you’re pretty much a rebel through and through. Like, there’s overlap obviously, on every single one. But for me, I am 100% one of those people who will take care of everyone else. You’re the obliger? Yeah. Before I take care of myself. Right. Getting better, hopefully, about that. But you have no accountability, so you’re basically held accountable by outside forces or outside people. Right. So when it comes to work, just work yourself to death and to the bone and dig yourself in a hole because you are going to do what other people are asking you to do because you don’t want to let anybody down. You. You’re going to rebel against what everyone is asking because it’s deeply rooted in you. There isn’t even any explaining it. It just is what it is. Right. But you have a little bit of other stuff and so do I, for sure. Yeah. I do feel like I definitely have pieces of all of those, though, when I think about it. Definitely I am rebellious, but I also think I can be a people pleaser and just be like, I will do anything for everybody. And then I also think I can prioritize myself and be really selfish. Some of that, though, comes from the parenting styles, like where you’re saying, did I come out that way? Because I feel like there’s things that I see you do that come from situations that happened when you were younger where I might have parented a little harshly or, we’ve talked about this before. Reactive parenting has caused, I don’t want to say issues, but you kind of have, like, PTSD maybe. I don’t know what it is, but you know what I’m saying. Very self aware for you as a mom to say I did something that might have fucked you up. Yeah. But it’s a very rare thing. Special, really, because, I don’t know, I feel like all parents feel guilty about something because here’s the thing. The thing is every parent is going to fuck up, okay? And it’s about being able to apologize. Like, lord knows when I’m a parent, God, I don’t know what I’m going to do wrong, but I will do something wrong. You know what I mean? It’s just how it is. But we all do because you’re learning as you’re going, kind of. I don’t think any of us are prepared or know. I don’t care how many classes you take. I did all that stuff and it didn’t matter. You came out so opposite of me. And so it’s like, okay, sweetie, it’s time to brush your teeth. No. Yes, we have to brush our teeth because you don’t want to have rotten teeth and you don’t want to go to. And then there’s me pinning you down on the floor of your bedroom going, we’re going to brush your teeth. And you’re like, no. And it’s like, yes. And we’re like, power struggling through life until I realized who you were. And it was by that point, though, all that reactive parenting had already taken place. To me, when I think of reactive parenting, it’s like a more emotional tone. It’s a more elevated tone. There’s anger, there’s emotion, but it’s also cutting off children and not hearing them, like being really emotional about something or snippy and not giving a child a chance to say, hey, wait a minute, I have something to say about that. No, you just need to go brush your teeth and go to bed. It’s like, but wait, I have something to say. No. You know what I mean? And that happened. Yeah. And that is something that I’ll probably never be okay with because it hurts. Because I see you overcompensating sometimes because I think that influenced, you know what I mean? And it’s kind of sad. No, it’s not sad. It is because you go, especially with, say, in relationships with friends or boys and it’s like, no, don’t do that. I caused that for you. Don’t do that. Don’t be sort of more of a pushover or be too agreeable or not feel like or hesitate to speak your mind because you were shut down as me being a reactive parenting in that parenting style kind of shut you down in a way so you felt like you weren’t going to be heard or that you couldn’t speak up for yourself. And so I’ve seen you do it in relationships, whether it’s just friendships or where the other person may not be the best person for you to be around because of their. Then they bring out that. So then, not that they would ever maybe even consciously take advantage of that. Of you, but that dynamic comes out. One time, it was a real. And it wasn’t even that long ago I saw it on Instagram, and it was somebody acting out a reactive parenting scenario. And I went, oh, no. I was that parent for a while. And then I sent it to you, and I was like, emma, oh, my God, I was that parent. And I think this is why you do this thing or do these different things. And I wanted you to be aware of it. So you would say, wait a minute, I don’t have to do that. I don’t have to do that. I have a voice, and I need to be heard, and I don’t need to hold back just because of something that happened to me when I was a kid that influenced the way I am with everyone else in my life. Like, I’d much rather you recognize that and me Me go down for it? No, I’ll go down for it just to help you see the person you need to be. Yeah. But ultimately, that is phenomenal parenting, though. Well, you never stop being a parent, right? No. And it’s like, okay, yeah, that was like, a rough patch, and it definitely formed me in way. I mean, every single little thing that happened when I was a kid. Foreign me in a way, also feeling like I can call you at any time and talk to you about anything and you’re never going to judge me, and you’re not going to get mad at me on that side of things that formed me in a way where now I’m not afraid of being myself as much. Yeah. But I do think that being a good parent is being selfless enough with your child, taking your ego out of it, being selfless enough with your child to say, I fucked up. This is how I think it fucked you up, and I’m sorry, and let’s work through it together so that you can heal from that, I can heal from that, and we can all blossom. Because at the end of the day, if it’s not that, it’s probably something else. I do think in order to be a good parent, you kind of have to let your ego go. I agree. Because that’s why you’re able to now to see this TikTok about how you parented in a way that you’re not proud of, and to send it to me and say, I’m sorry. Yeah, you can’t do that if your ego is in it and you’re like, no, I have ego in being a good parent, a perfect parent. Right. But your dad and I have talked many times about this. It’s like, once you have a kid, you go out the window. It’s not about you anymore. You have this little person, and you got to give it your all and make sure that they’re safe, happy, and whatever. It’s not about raising the smartest or the cutest or the most talented. It’s just about. We’ve talked about this so many times. We gave you the opportunity to be you, and we had respect for you as a little human, and we wanted you to develop into whatever you were going to be, not who we are, who you are. And I think that’s where a lot of parents are, like, oh, no, we don’t talk about that. We don’t talk about this, or we don’t get boy crazy, or we don’t say this word. You know what I mean? Such a funny example to use because nine times out of ten, I’m calling you. It’s about. Right. It’s about all of those things, which is just totally normal, whereas other parents, I think, really try to control that kind of stuff. And it’s like, why, though? Is it because you’re worried about looking bad? Because you’re totally what it is because your kids are boy crazy girls and boys, and everybody’s crazy about everybody, you know what I mean? At a certain age. So why do you care how that’s going to make you look? But also even like, college. Like, oh, my kid needs to go to this college, or, oh, my kid needs to get this job. It’s terrible on both ends. It’s terrible for the child because they feel like they can’t discover what they want to do with their lives themselves. But then it’s terrible for the parent because, I’m so sorry. You’re going to get disappointed. You’re going to get fucking disappointed. Or if you put rules into place like that, we had conversations because you felt like you had to go to this college or that college or a good college or whatever, and it’s like, no, wait a minute. You can do whatever you want. You’re in the driver’s seat. No judgment here. That’s why you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s interesting, though, because how rare is it for a parent? This is so backwards. How often is the kid like, no, I need to go to college, but something inside of me is telling me I’m not going to go. And the parents are like, don’t go. When does that ever happen? But it’s crazy how the gut instincts really kick in. And because your dad and I, it wasn’t about us, it was about you and about you being happy, healthy, figuring things out. It wasn’t about like, oh, well, if she doesn’t go to Harvard, then we’re going to look like dumbasses or something. It didn’t matter to us. You know what I mean? But also, I went to fidM. He went to a few years like, well, ride’s like, who are y’all to talk, right? But it’s like you could say, well, don’t do what I did, go to get a four year education and reach for the stars or whatever, but you don’t have to reach for the stars on a certain path. And you had made it really clear that that path was, everyone’s doing the same thing. Everybody looks the same way. And I look around the room and every face looks the same, and I’m like, driving, going, oh, my God, she’s freaking me out right now. What does she mean by that? Because you were so much more advanced than I realized. And you’re telling me this on the way home from school one day when you were in high school? I was going, very shakespeare. I was going, very abstract art in the car with you that day. And I was, like, shaking, going, oh, my God, do I need to sign her up with a psychologist? I don’t know what to do. And then it was like we went to the college counseling, and you walked out of there just shaking your head. And I’m going, I don’t know what’s going wrong. I will say that was when I sort of. I started having very intuitive feelings at that point. Well, you said you didn’t see yourself graduating from high school, like, walking the line, and it freaked you out. Remember that? Well, that was what was so weird. And to this day is so weird with graduating high school in the proper way. Right. Like, walking down the line. I couldn’t see it. I could not see me in college. I wanted both of those things. You know, I was a very studious, academically driven. You were so anxious about perfection in that setting. Right. Because it was something you would say. I got to get into the best colleges. I just have to. I have to. And we’re like, but why do you feel like you have to do that? It was so weird. Yeah. The whole thing is weird in retrospect, because it’s like, most of the time, a kid’s not going to catholic all girls school unless their parents forced them to go. Right? Like, I wanted to go. I wanted to go because I was like, this is going to help me prep for college so that I can go to a good college, because I really think what it was rooted in was feeling like, obviously, the Bay Area, the Silicon Valley, it’s a bunch of tech families. It’s a lot of wealthy. Yep. And we weren’t necessarily there. We weren’t up there with them. We were totally fine, but we weren’t there. You know what I mean? To me, I was like, I feel inferior in a way, which was completely fucking ridiculous in retrospect, but that’s normal. But I mean, as a kid who doesn’t even as a parent, I wanted so badly to provide that a house with whatever, and then whatever kind of car you wanted when you turned 16. And I wanted to provide all that, and that made us who we are today. But at the time, my heart hurt to not be able to provide that for you. But when I looking back, I’m glad I did. Me fucking too. Right? So, I mean, I don’t regret any of it, but at the time, it was really hard because it was like I was constantly looking for the little house, even just rent that would be affordable. And I think growing up, how I grew up, I also felt inferior to the kids that had the married parents, the brothers and sisters in the house with the two dogs and the this and the that and the two trucks and the car to go to town in and all the stuff. I did not have any of that either. But I look back and I go, oh, man, my childhood is so interesting. Yeah, it’s like dynamic, right? But also, when you’re a kid, you probably have experienced this. When you’re a kid, you take everything for granted. You know what I’m saying? You don’t realize how good you have it until you’re older and you’re able to see things from a worldly scale. Yeah, right. I was under the impression that my childhood was much more challenging than it was because I was comparing myself to these rich kids who have tech parents, millionaire parents. They’re everywhere. And I’m comparing myself to that. I only made it worse by going to Catholic all girls school. The only way that we were able to do that was by getting financial aid. Right. But then I’m a rap Found it even more. And I was just so cynical. I was like, fuck these people, because I’m around. Actually, what I realized now was extreme wealth. That is an unusual sort of setup. It’s not normal for 15 year old girls to be getting a Dior bag for Christmas. That’s very weird, right? Or like the car of their dreams, brand new for their 16th birthday, and then they crash it and then they get a new one the next week. That’s not normal. See, I just had no clue. I had no context because you look back and I so appreciate my upbringing. Oh, my God. And my childhood and all the different stuff. And also, too. Even yours. Even though I want. Yes. I was obsessive about, like I said, getting the cute little house that you could have your friends over and not be embarrassed because it was so important. It was so important. It was cute inside. It was super cute. Let’s just describe it. It was like, basically we had this apartment that we lived in for years and years and years, and it was like ten years. It was like ten years. And I was mortified of this apartment. I’m so sorry. It’s okay. No, listen. In retrospect now, I’m like, my mom put a roof over my head. We had two bedrooms in there, which is, like, incredible. I had my own space. Awesome. Closet, clean, always. It was, like, decorated. So cute inside. I could not be more grateful for it now. But at the time, let me tell you. So all the neighbors were a little creepy. No, we had some cute ones. The ones across from us upstairs were awesome, but the ones below us, we had, like, awful, in absolute feud with them. It was insane. I had to tiptoe walking around the house, because if not, they would start hitting the fucking ceiling with a broom. And they’d be like, shut the fuck up. And they were always on some sort of drug, okay. And our apartment smelled like weed, right? And, like, my mom calling the police all the time. They’d call the police on us. We’d call the police on them. And I think reactive parenting came from that. I’m not trying to make excuses, but that situation, I look back and I go, I should have just gotten us out of there because I would be so short tempered, because it was hard, because I lived. I was going to school there, and it was going to be emotionally challenging to get me out of that school. And by the way, we were rent controlled there. Yeah. The rent was so amazing. You could walk to school, so there are some good things about it. You could walk to school or I could pop you over or walk you to school. There came a point where you wanted to walk to school by yourself. It gave you that independence. But how often did your friends come with you after school? Because we were one block away from downtown and you guys would go over and get whatever Starbucks or mean, and it was the pad. You guys all hung out and, you guys know, take little videos out of the window of friends walking by because it was so fun. Yeah, it was actually like fun. Location, location, location. It was interesting because I was always very embarrassed to bring other kids over because of course, naturally I’m comparing this apartment to most of them had gorgeous houses, six bedrooms. But what was interesting was that most of them actually did end up preferring hanging out at our place because it was cozy and there was a special energy there. And again, I am so appreciative of that. This episode is brought to you by the Sims. I do something creative, but sometimes I lose my creative spark. Some days I wake up and I just don’t have the capacity to use my brain in that way. And I have to just be patient with myself and give myself time to go through phases of creativity and phases of rest. But thanks to the Sims, inspiration is just one game and one spark away. Ready to spark something? Download the Sims four and play for free. This episode is brought to you by Netflix’s new competition series the trust. It’s the ultimate test of human nature, when eleven strangers are offered a quarter million dollars and a choice to share the money equally or vote each other out to take more for themselves. What would you choose? Find out if greed is greater than good. The trust, a game of greed, is now streaming only on Netflix. We went off on a crazy tangent, and I’m glad we did because that was a phenomenal topic. But all this was because I was saying it made no sense for me to be like, I need to go to a Catholic all girls school, because there was a lot of friction to get me there. It wasn’t like, oh, this is a seamless, easy thing, like, whatever. But did we ever do anything easy? No, but I had this gut intuition where I was like, I need to go to this Catholic all girls school. And then it was like I knew I had to go there, right? But then when it came to going to college, I knew it was not going to happen, but it was going against my logical brain and it was so weird. And to this day though, it’s like, that happens. That just happens with me. Even with friendships. I’ll be like, I don’t see this in two years, even if I’m like, we’re having so much fun, I want to be friends with this person forever. But I’ll close my eyes and I’ll be like, I don’t see it. But then I’ll have friends where I close my eyes and I can see it. That’s a more recent development, I don’t think, where it’s like, whoa, I actually am seeing these people in my head for a long time. But same thing with even dating every time. This is, like, torturous when, oh, I bet I’ll be so in love with someone. I think at least whether it’s real love or not, it depends. It could be an illusion, it could be not. But I’ll be so convinced that I’m in love with this person for the right reasons and that this is something that’s going to go the distance. And I’ll close my eyes and I’ll be like, it isn’t. I know it isn’t. Wow. But it goes against what I want to be true. And you kind of want to go, well, I could be wrong. And I do that, and then every time I do, I get fucked over. Yeah. So I’m learning now that. But that’s such a gift. I mean, that’s something to pay attention to. Do you have that? I feel like we all have a gift for intuition. And so say you’re talking about a situation with a relationship, friendship, whatever. I’m not saying specifics, and I might just have an intuition about somebody and I’ll say it, and I’m usually right, and it’s kind of freaky. It’s kind of freaky. Moms kind of know. And maybe it’s just because I’ve been around the block multiple times. People always say that. Moms always know, and it’s so interesting because, fuck, you have nailed it on the head with everyone you do know. I actually need to start asking you more because I’ll give you my opinion. I know. And it’s not even judgment on someone. It’s not even like, oh, those are bad people. Don’t hang out with them. Or the compatibility. It’s not me. Yeah, it’s not even about. Yeah, it’s like a dynamic, and I’ve just come to that place where I pay attention more, and I think you’ve just been more in tune. I mean, I think I might be in tune, but, yes, ignore it. Well, no, I think what happens with you, though, is because you have anxiety, you will overanalyze those things sometimes. And then you get worried about it. An example would be, like, an intrusive thought, right? And then all of a sudden, you’ll start to make something out of that, because you’ll go, oh, that popped in my head. And is that okay? But does that mean it’s real? Or is it just because it was an intrusive thought? So you have this, like, oh, my gosh, you poor thing. But I have done that my whole life, and I got a handle on that when I was in my older 20s. I’m getting better about it. I was probably even in my 30s when I was able to get a handle on that and figure out the tools. And you will. You’ll get there, but it sucks, because you’ll spend so much energy and time and lose a lot of sleep over this kind of stuff that you create yourself that 99.9% of the time never happens. And so that’s why I’m here to remind you, because I’ve learned how to cope with that and talk myself out of it. And it’s been a blessing, thank God, that you are as anxious as me. Like, imagine you were sort of a child, that you grew up just as anxious as me, but you didn’t have a parent who understood, right? Certain feeling that you have when you’re the anxious kid that’s worried about a lot of things because you’re so distracted by the worry and that dark cloud following you around that it’s hard to let go and have a good time. Like, I just, you know, I. I see some of that in you, and so I try to do whatever I can to say, hey, I did that. And look, it makes so much. It is such a gift to have somebody to call when you’re like, I’m experiencing this, this and that, what’s happening, right. And to have somebody say, you’re not dying, you’re not losing your mind, you’re totally fine. This is normal, and it’s happened to me. I really think that one of the most powerful resources anxious people can have is just someone, anyone that has experienced it before, that’s a key. Key component, needs to understand it. You have to. Yeah. Because if you talk about it with somebody who doesn’t, they’ll make you feel crazy, actually. The way that their tone towards you will never be empathetic enough. Right. Only from somebody who has experienced deep anxiety, only can they. That’s at least my experience. Well, I never had anybody I know, and no one. I never had anyone to understand it. Not a parent, not a friend, no one. No one understood what I was going through. And it wasn’t even, like, well known, like, panic disorder and anxiety. Generalized anxiety and panic disorder was just not very commonly talked about or addressed or in most people, if they did have it, they were on antianxiety medicine, which was not an option for me, but nobody understood what I was feeling. And so until I finally did meet work with somebody who did, and they gave me this workshop thing, and I did it twice over. And that’s how I was able to get the tools that I have and thank goodness, have them to share with you and to understand it is just. That’s what it is. I’ve noticed with anxiety is like, once you understand it, and that’s what’s making it easier for me now, knowing that it’s normal and it’s going to pass and that it’s not like something is very, very wrong. Right. I will say, though, I’ve noticed in you recently you’re making friends in the neighborhood my mom moved to Los Angeles, California with. Now, she’s not my neighbor, but she lives pretty know. We’re la girls now, obviously. But I feel like you moving to LA has been really good for you. I feel like you have so many friends. I feel like I’ll call you. And you’re like, I’m on a walk with my friend. And I’m like, what? That’s weird. You’re like, wait a minute. You’re always there for me. You’re like, I’m going to this dinner party or something. And I’m like, oh, what? I know it’s kind of crazy, but it’s amazing. I think living in LA, you’re coming out of your shell, and I think you’re learning to have a better work life balance. And I honestly think it’s never too late to figure that out. And you’re at a place now where financially, it’s like, maybe you can give yourself a little bit. You’ve worked so hard for so many fucking years. So fucking hard for so many years. I think at a certain point it’ll click for you and you’ll be like, I think I do get to celebrate now. And that can just happen whenever. There’s no timeline where it’s like, oh, I missed out. I didn’t do it soon enough, so now I have to live this way for the rest of my life. It’s like, hello? No, I’m trying. I’m doing you will. It’s baby steps. Well, I’m here to be like, okay, mommy, time to get out. It’s getting weird. Time to get out, mommy. You’re being so boring. Totally. This is so weird. But, you know, it’s funny. Back in the day, it’s like, oh, the different things that adults did to go have fun is just not the stuff that I like. So now it’s like taking out time with these new friends that I have to try new restaurants or just have them over for coffee or go take the kids for long hikes to the top of the hill. Things that are just more in my. So I’m just more lined up with people that like to do the same things. And so it’s kind of funny because, like, moved here and I’ve never looked back, and it’s been so fun. It’s been so I. You know, like, I actually think we love la. I love everyone. Loves do. No, it’s funny because, you know, I hated LA for so long. I’m actually, like, fucking into LA right now. Me, too. No, I’m not. The. When I would come down and help you at the different locations you were at before, I was kind of like, I don’t think so. I lived in terrible areas. I was just like, I don’t think I could do it. And then when I got kind of stuck here helping to get the house finished and all that, and just got my house. Yeah. Got a routine down. It was like, oh, well, I already kind of lived here. And I liked it. I liked it. And then it was like, I’ve never looked back. I know, I love it. Totally. I’m giddy with how much nature I get to be in. I know all the critters. Okay. We love rats. Like, pet rats. We love them. And she had a pet rat in college, and she would carry it to class in her pocket, and it would sit in her little sweatshirt pocket, and it would crawl up on her shoulder and sleep on her shoulder. And this was her little best friend. And when I got older, then my mom was like, let’s get Emma a rat. I wanted a rat, so I had pet rats. We both have a deep fondness for rats. Top rodent. I’d argue for the both of us. Although my mom also loves squirrels. That’s her top rodent. My top rodent is probably. I, like, actually love them, and I think that they’re incredibly. I don’t. I don’t need to see a big two foot New York rat. Right? Like, I’m not hungry for that experience, but, like, a little cute female pet rat obsessed. Long story short, my mom loves rats. I love rats. Yeah. She also used to feed the squirrels at her work, and then she also. And then on top of that, she’s obsessed with the salamanders that are all around, or. No, it’s not salamanders. What is it? It’s lizards. Sorry, she has a lizard friend. Western fence lizards and southern alligator lizards. Oh, my God. There is so many cool lizards at my house, you guys. No, it is so cool. Some of them are, like, super turquoise, and some of them are just like. There’s all sorts of little baby ones. Oh, my gosh. You’re definitely an animal person. It’s very special. Well, that’s why I would rather be with the animals than be out and be social. See, you’re one of those to wear the shirt. That’s like, I like my dog more than, like, that’s you, actually. It’s like the picture of the person laying on the floor talking to the dog when they’re at a party. That’s me. Classic Sophia. Classic mommy mode. Yeah. Can’t help it. Sorry. Yeah, well, I mean, I think. And I’m not going to apologize for it. Don’t. No. I think their final conclusion is my mom likes any critter that’s within a ten foot radius of her house more than she likes me. And that’s okay. Relationship. And right now, because you’re older and you’re now an adult, they can take priority over you sometimes, and you don’t like it. No, I actually kind of am relieved. I’m like, you know what? She’s having fun. And I can call you at 02:00 a.m. While you’re cuddling with the critters. Right. Like, it’s a perfect balance, what we have. I know. Well, mommy, thank you for coming on the show. You’re welcome. It was fun. Do you have fun? Yeah. Did you come back? Oh, my God, totally. Okay, cool. I feel like we could talk forever. I know. Yeah. And we will. You’ll come back, and next time we’ll talk about. We’ll really dig into the rats. Oh, God. Yeah, no, and I should probably stop saying God. I keep saying that. Oh, really? You can say God. Oh, you can say fuck. You can say shit. You can say God. You can say damn ass. Okay, good. Titties. Okay. Titties and ass. Cooter. Vagina. Vagina. Penis. Like penis. Let it go. Let loose. That should be, like, my warm up before I record, as I make everyone go down the list of, like, ooh, that’s a little spicy words. Spicy. I like that. And you did amazing. Awesome. Them. Can’t wait for you to come back. I know. I can’t wait to come back. It was fun. Bye.
